Times Like These
by blinnn
Summary: Series of random One-Shots for DomiRae's challenge! Chapter 6 - Food. "I mean... stuffed artichokes? Canned bread? What's going on with you?... it's almost like you're..." Dasey! Rated T for language.
1. Tea: Denial

AN: Here's a series of One-Shots for DomiRae's Challenge! :]

Prompt:So, I have a challenge for you. I want to see who can write a story, multi-chapter or one-shots, with these words. All you have to do is just have each chapter revolve around the word, and each chapter has a different word. I want to read your stories, so you can just review and tell me, or you can send me a personal message. I can't wait to read them. And if you have any questions at all feel free to ask! Have fun!

Tea, cell phone, moon, music, annoying, food, brownies, cruise, zoo, tacos, bows, stickers, black, scream, heart, tears, mermaid, radio, karma, would you rather, book, clean, flowers, chocolate, pink, shoes, fish, ring, video games, gene lamp, remote, window, note, concert, midnight, sun, puzzle, smile, facebook, and soda.

Chapter summary: Derek's addicted. Set around the time, "Middle Manic" was set. :)

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**Chapter One:** Tea

A Life with Derek Fanfiction

Disclaimer: I don't own LwD, unfortunately. (Or STASH Tea)

He'd never _admit _that he liked it. I mean... it _was_ a 'woman's drink' after all.

And he'll tell you one thing, he _never_ drank it,_ before_ the McDonald's invaded his home.

Hell, he'd never even seen it in the house.

But there was just something about the _smell_, the _color_, the _texture_... that was just... alluring to him (it had _nothing_, absolutely _nothing_, to do with the fact that _she_ always smelled of _Stash_'s 'Jasmine Blossom' Green Tea when she walked by, or anything).

So he tried it one day... and it was quite possibly the biggest mistake he'd ever made and probably ever _will_ make. Because it was like he was drinking _her_ **in**. The image of her was plastered in his mind with every sip he took. And just like that... he was addicted.

Addicted to this 'girly' drink that most would associate with little girls' imaginary friends, Queens, and other... womanly... stuff. But the _same_ drink that _he_ associated with Casey McDonald.

And it proved hard to secretly make tea without others noticing(Nora just _had_ to buy the whistling tea kettle).

So one night, as Casey cried herself to sleep over _his_ best friend... he asked _her_ mother to chat... over tea...

And of course, she was suspicious because... Derek having tea... talking sincerely with his step-mother? It just wasn't done; it was so out of character it confused her.

But he was just too damn addicted, and everyone was home, and he needed a fix. So he broke, asking his step-mom to have a pseudo-tea party with him and talk about what exactly?

Talk about how he wanted Sam and Casey to get back together.

Now, this may sound like some backwards logic to you, (but to him it made perfect sense) he _needs_ Casey and Sam to be together because then... then he'll maybe have a _chance_ at getting over her. I mean; you can't crush on your best friend's girlfriend... right?

So they're talking and Nora's suspecting things that she shouldn't even be concerned about(like his intentions with her daughter... and Sam). And he's pretty sure he just told her he _cares_ about her daughter.

And _damn_, the tea got the better of him again.

So he semi-fakes that he has _ulterior motivation_ for getting the two 'love-birds' back together, and regains his confidence...

But he's starting to think... maybe he should switch to decaf.


	2. Cell Phone: Trouble

Trouble/Cell Phone

Disclaimer: I don't own LwD! :]]

It was ringing again.

"_You're beautiful, it's true..._"  
He told everyone that he chose _that_ ring tone for _her_ because James Blunt's voice annoyed him to no end(although he could have easily chosen a _different_ song, he supposed), and he wanted to be constantly reminded of just how much she annoyed him.

So that was it; and he set it as her personal ring tone (even paid the two dollars and ninety-nine cents for it).

"_...crowded place..._" He should really answer(but he's just so _content_ with having her stew for a while). So he lets it go to voicemail.

Then- "_I'm in trouble, I'm an addict, I'm addicted to this gir-_" He clicks a button so it shuts (the hell) up.  
He has no explanation for that one(so he never lets anyone hear it)... but it means he has a voicemail.

And he's no rocket scientist,(although, he's totally thinking of schooling for his doctorate in McDonald-ology: the study of... fast food chains? Anyone?) but he's pretty sure that the voicemail is from _her_(and not just because it's his voicemail alert tone for her).

And he knows exactly what it's going to say, (which means the next six to eight years to earn his _degree_ will be a piece of cake) she's going to be ranting on and on about how he can't even answer a damn cell phone... so how on _Earth_ is he going to be able to take care of a child(because his cell phone has a heartbeat, and feelings, and... what the _hell_ is wrong with her? It's not like he's even _thinking_ about having children, yet).

He almost wants to just call her back without listening to the message, to test how well he knows her(you know... to prepare for the vigorous years of _class_ ahead of him; surely he'll be quizzed on the intricacies of a McDonald voice message sooner or later).

But he settles for opening his phone, ignoring the many alerts that pop up at him, (One missed call! New voicemail! Um.. _duh_?) and pressing and holding the "1" button.

He listens to her voice screech into his ear, "God, Derek. What are you going to do when you're ready to have children, huh? What happens when your wife is going into labor and you're too busy playing video games, or... God knows what else, to answer your freaking cell phone?! What happens then, huh!? Well you jus- BEEP"

She always talked too much, and cell phone voice mails can only hold so much crazy before they explode. She should really know better than to unload all of her insane-ness into one voice message.  
It was then that he realized... she hadn't said WHY she'd called in the first place. Damn her. She did this on purpose(he should know, he's majoring in 'Casey brain mechanics' and minoring in 'Casey-speak', after all).

So he pressed and held the "2" button and her picture popped up(uhh... another one of those 'don't ask, don't tell' things. No one knew she was two on his speed dial, and he'd never admit it unless someone spoke about it-to which he'd deny;deny;deny).

"Hello?" She sounded flustered(exhausted).

"You called?" He asks, completely relaxed.

"Ugh." She pauses, undoubtedly rubbing her temples with her pointer and middle finger(that Casey-mannerisms class did wonders for his GPA).

"Uh huh. And what does this, 'ugh' you speak of, have to do with me?"

"Derek, you need to come home. Mom and George are looking for you. They need help with the nursery and..." He tuned her out(because he now understood. He _knows_ why she simply said '_ugh_' at first). The baby. Anything that has to do with 'baby Venturi', they back off.

Who knows the real reason for it(he does)?... It's just one of those (solvable) mysteries that some will never know the answer to. But she said it, so he had to do it(or he'd just feel... horrible..._er_ than usual).

So he rushed home.

And she was in the room with Nora and George, staring at colors on the wall (three different shades of yellow). This better had not be what they called him home for.

"What's this about?" He asked angrily, as he entered the room.

"Well, son... I need help putting the crib together while Nora and Casey decide on patterns for the wall borders and..." he didn't really care about anything else. He was informed of what he needed to do, and he just wanted to get it done so he can just _stop_ thinking of 'baby Venturi' and how... he or she is probably going to be the (almost) perfect mixture of keener and slacker, black and white, good and bad. He or she is going to be the (basically)perfect child, and... and...

And maybe he's (sickened) jealous...? That they won't like _him_ as much?  
Oh who the hell was he kidding?

So they got to work on the crib and Nora and Casey left the room to go do whatever the hell it was they were supposed to do. And he and George were well into putting it together when his damn phone rang, _again!_  
It was _her_, **AGAIN**.

Wasn't she just down the stairs? Couldn't she just come back up and ask whatever it was she wanted to ask(and just like that, he was on academic probation. Straight F's in Casey-logic proved that he's not as fluent in Casey-speak as he used to be, and... maybe the whole, 'McDonald-ology' thing wasn't working out as well as he'd planned).

But there was a slight problem.

Well as you know, everyone's already heard the James Blunt cover story... but...  
He couldn't get his hand free to _answer_ his cell phone, and...  
He _still_ couldn't get it free after the ringing was over.  
and it went to voicemail and.  
"I'm in trouble, I'm an addict, I'm addicted to this girl; she's got my heart tied in a knot and my stomach in a whirl; but even worse I can't stop calling her, she's all I want and more, I mean... Damn... what's not to adore?"  
And his father was staring at him. No. Make that _glaring_ at him.  
Because they all knew the ringtone for _her_.  
But they'd never heard the voicemail one... and now that they had?  
Oh boy was he in _trouble_.


	3. Moon: Mocking

AN: Thanks so much for the reviewss! I love you guys! :)

Summary: I mean, who else develops f... feelings for their (not-so)uptight, (used-to-be)keener stepsister?  
It had to be mocking him. Dasey. Chapter 3 - Moon.

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Chapter 3: Moon

Disclaimer: I don't own LwD.

It's always there, when they meet for their many excursions.  
And he was positive if it could talk, it'd tell the _best _stories(most of which were a little less than appropriate, surely).  
But he was thankful, that it _couldn't_ talk, (because then his cover would be blown) because they made a pact that no one would _ever_ know.

Because what they were doing was _wrong_(she made a point to tell him every chance she could); but it's not like they could go back now(thankfully).

And sometimes, he'd look at it; and he'd think maybe it was _mocking_ him. Laughing at him. I mean, who else develops f... feelings for their (not-so)uptight, (used-to-be)keener stepsister?  
It had to be mocking him.

With it's white(like purity), glowing(like heavenly), _mocking_ appearance.  
If only it could talk.

It's seen the countless times he would sneak over to her room while everyone was asleep... when he... ravished her.  
They'd promised that there would be 'no strings attached', and what could be better than that?  
That's all he could have asked for from anyone(else).  
But it just wasn't enough.

And it's seen the -_also_ countless(and more frequent)- times that he'd lay awake in his own room, just trying to get her out of his head.  
He'd made the same promise as she did, but it seems that he's more soft than he'd realized.  
Since when was it the _guy_ who had trouble differentiating love and... physical attraction?  
He was a pansy.

And it _knew_ that; of course it did. Which is why it just always seemed to _mock_ him. He'd look at it through the window, and wish(hope?) that he could be more like it. Without feelings, without complications, and completely problem-free.

But no. He isn't the damn moon.  
He's Derek Venturi. He's far from perfect; pure; _heavenly_.  
He's perverse, and obnoxious, and... devious.

But Casey McDonald... now, _she's_ the freaking moon.


	4. Music: After Tonight

AN: Thanks once again for your amazing reviews. I'm possibly the worst person at getting back to people. :( I am sorrryy. I just can't stop writing lately. Which means I should probably finish Only in the Movies... :-/ But I don't wanna. haha.

Summary: And maybe it's just her... but she thinks music can do wondrous things to change one's mood.

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**Chapter 4: Music - After Tonight**

Disclaimer: I don't own LwD or _After Tonight_ by Justin Nozuka. :)  
(BTW: I don't have anything against Celine Dion, but I'm sure Derek would... haha)

What the-? What was that _crap_ that was burning his ears?  
Was- was that Celine Dion?  
Oh hell no, he wasn't having that.

He traveled to the parlor with ease and pressed stop on the CD player.  
"No." He simply stated, wagging his finger at her as if she were a dog.

"Der-ek! Why not? It's about _love_ and _happiness_. It's just... perfect." She responded with a wistful glint in her eye.

"Exactly. It's too... prissy; and I do _not_ want to hear it. _ever_ again." He said before moving back to the kitchen(where he _was_ supposed to be making a sandwich), effectively closing the conversation.

She just followed, a book full of CD's in hand, "Well what do you suppose I do, Derek? Because I want something romantic, and lovely... what do _you_ want? You left it up to me, but when I find something worthwhile you just turn it down. Tell me what you _want_, Derek!" She demanded, flipping through the pages of CD's.

"I left it up to you because I don't _do_ this kind of stuff. I don't pick _wedding songs_, I pick sandwich toppings." He said, placing a leaf of lettuce on top of the lunch meat, and closed the sandwich for emphasis.

"Ugh! You're so thick-headed. We're going to be _dancing_ to this song on the most important day of our _lives_ and all you can think of is _sandwiches_!?" She screamed.

He just smirked and took the book of CD's out of her possession.

"This one," He gave her a CD that had the word, 'Spacey' on it, "play number eleven." He said before walking into their bedroom.

Once she gained her composure, she did as he said.

It was... it was _perfect_.  
The most amazing wedding song to _ever_ grace the planet, and... and _Derek_ picked it.

_"I know that after tonight, you don't have to look up at the stars, no, no, no, no.  
I know, by the end of tonight, you don't have to look up at the stars."_

Her eyes were wet and she just felt the urge to run into the bedroom and pounce him.

So she did.

And maybe it's just her... but she thinks music can do wondrous things to change one's mood.


	5. Annoying: Ignorance

AN: Another one-shot! These are fun! Thanks for the reviews, lovelies! :)

Summary: Because ignorance _was_ annoying. But what's even worse is that they'd probably never realize _what_ exactly it was that they were choosing to ignore. Dasey!

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**Annoying: Ignorance**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own LwD, but I do own the name Emily. 'Cause it's mine. ;)

You've heard it all before.  
She gets on his nerves.  
He gets under her skin.  
(So the saying goes)  
But it's more than that.  
He knows it.  
She knows it.  
On that note... everyone knows.

Emily sure as hell did, and it pissed her (right the hell) off.  
Every night that they'd go on a date, all he'd talk about was what he'd done to her that week(or just that day if it was a weekend).  
And it was all so _annoying_.

Then she'd hang out with _her_, because, well they _were_ best friends, after all. And she'd rant about what he'd done to her.  
So... now she's heard it _twice_, and is double-annoyed.

"Casey. Could we _please_ talk about something else? I mean, all I've heard from you is how horrible my boyfriend is, and well... it's not really fun to listen to." Emily finally broke as they walked through the mall.

"Sorry, Em... you know how I get when it comes to that slimy, scheming, selfi-"

"Casey!" she interrupted.

Casey blushed, "Oh, Em. I'm so sorry! I just can't stop myself, sometimes!" She took a deep breath, "Let's just... grab something to eat. Shall we?" Casey smiled and Emily agreed.

They strolled into the food court, which seemed to be the worst place they could be, because Emily spotted Derek and Sam at a table across the large room.

"Casey, maybe we should go somewhere else to eat..." Emily offered.

"Don't be silly, Em. I'm starving! And they have salad bar!" She clapped her hands in excitement.

"But Casey,"

"But nothing! Let's go!" She insisted, leading her friend to the aforementioned salad bar.

...and it was kind of all going in slow motion, and she felt like she had to stop it, but she couldn't.  
Derek got up from his seat, tray full of garbage in hand, right as Casey was waltzing forward to get to her destination.  
They didn't see each other, but Emily saw them both, right before they collided.  
... and there was garbage everywhere.

Casey screeched and-"Der-_ek_!"  
Here we go again.

"Why don't you look where you're walking, Spacey?" He argued.

"Me? _Me_!? How about _you_!? You just get out of your chair with all your garbage and you don't look before you leap! You know what you are, Derek? You... well you're just... UGH!"

"What the hell are you talking about, Casey?" He smiled, because she just wasn't making any sense anymore. 'Look before you leap?' who even uses that anymore? And it was just always a delight when she rambled.

Emily and Sam sat on the sidelines, waiting for the trainwreck.

"I..." She smiled back, "I have no clue!" She threw up her hands as if to surrender.  
Then they both just broke out in laughter.

Sam and Emily exchanged worried/confused glances. What the _hell_?

"Let's just go home and get cleaned up." Derek suggested, forgetting all about his best friend sitting at the table. (oh yeah, and did she mention that he hadn't even waved to his _girlfriend_, or even acknowledged her existence, yet?)

"Good idea..." And didn't she say she was starving!?

So they left. With each other. Without their friends.

"That's so _annoying_." Sam offered, now hovering next to Emily.

"You're telling me..."

Because ignorance _was_ annoying. But what's even worse is that they'd probably never realize _what_ exactly it was that they were choosing to ignore.

Sure, Emily could go back home and reprimand her boyfriend and best friend for leaving her at the mall with _his_ best friend... but that would only solve the _smallest_ of their problems. The real dilemma was that they'd _never_ realize... it was _more_ than just getting under each other's skin. _More_ than getting on each other's nerves. They felt _more_, but they had no clue.

Only the bystanders(Emily, Sam, Lizzie, Edwin, Marti, Paul, Ralph, Sally, Noel, Max... oh you get the picture...) saw the truth. But no one would _dare_ say anything to them. That's a risk that no one was willing to take... they'd probably get their heads ripped off or something.

Which just made it all the more _annoying_.


	6. Food: Sardines?

AN: I don't even KNOW where I'm coming up with these ideas. I just repeat the word over and over again in my head... and eventually I come up with something. It's quite odd. But I'm enjoying it quite a lot. ;)

I just hope you all are! hehe! Anyways! ENJOY NOW!

Summary: "I mean... stuffed artichokes? Canned bread? What's going on with you... it's almost like you're..." Dasey!

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**Food: Sardines?**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own LwD.

"We don't need all of this." He said. And... if this were any other time, he'd have been right.

"Yes we do." She argued, thoughtfully.

"No. We really don't." He continued.

"Derek, we really,_ really _do." She stressed.

"I don't see why we would need all of this."

"Is Derek Venturi actually suggesting I put food _back_ on the shelf?"

He scoffs, "Casey, this isn't _food_. It's random shit that you decided you needed at the last minute as we walked through the aisle."

"I'm hungry..." She explained in a small voice.

"Haven't you ever heard the phrase, 'never shop when you're hungry'? And didn't you eat a sandwich before you left for that exact reason?" He asked.

She coughed; a way to buy time. "I'm just... just really hungry is all." She lied.

"Right..." He eyed her suspiciously. "My point still stands. We don't need all this food." He picked up a random item from the cart, "I mean... sardines, Case? Neither of us like them!" He moved to place them on a random shelf but she grabbed his arm.

"No! I need those! I really want them for the tacos that I'm going to make later." She licked her lips.

"Tac- Casey, what the hell are you talking about?! You hate Mexican food, and... who on _Earth_ puts sardines on their tacos!?" He looked at her as if she were insane.

"I... I do, okay!? I just... really want them! Just... give them to me!" She grabbed at the item in his hand, but he instantly moved it away.

"No! They're smelly and gross. I don't even want them in my house." He effectively hid them behind his back. But Casey wasn't giving up; she reached behind him and he smirked.

He lifted one of his hands above his head, holding the fishy substance well above her, before throwing them on the highest shelf of the aisle.  
She harrumphed before fixing her shirt, which had shifted upwards in their escapade.

"Whatever. I'll just get another one from the shelf." She spoke defiantly before leaving him standing with their cart.

"Oh, no you don't!" He sprang after her, pulling her back towards him. She gasped as he gently brought her back to him, wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her there.

She sighed, about to give up, as he smirked at her. "Fine. You win... I mean... I just wanted some cute, tasty, little fishies, but no. You have to go and take it away from me!" Her eyes brimming with un-shed tears.

He groaned impulsively as he realized that she was acting pretty insanely. Random crying fits in the middle of the grocery store, just because he wouldn't let her buy sardines?  
(... and... 'cute, tasty, little fishies?... what the hell was going on here?)

"Casey, why are you crying? It's not that big of a deal... if you want the sardines, you can have 'em... I just... I have no clue as to why you'd want them in the first place. Or why you'd want any of this other crap that I know you don't even _like_." He paused, gently rubbing her back to soothe her, "I mean... stuffed artichokes? Canned bread? What's going on with you... it's almost like you're..." He felt her tense.

_Oh shit_. His eyes widened as he pushed her away slightly to look at her face. _Glowing _(more than usual).  
"Casey. Are- are you... pregnant?"

She gave a sheepish smile, "Surprise?" It was more of a question.

"You mean... I'm gonna be a father?" She nodded, and he backed away from her slightly, grinning like a madman. "I'm gonna be a father!" He announced, flailing his arms for emphasis.

Throughout the store, they heard clapping, hoots, and hollers as he scooped Casey in his arms again and picked her up. He twirled her in the air before setting her back down again.

And (he's never been happier -or more adorable, she decided- in his life) he's going to be a father!

"So... can I get those sardines, now?" She asked with a glint of hope.

"Anything you want, my dear! Anything your crazy, pregnancy hormones desire, I'll get for you. Because... you're the mother of my baby, and... you can have all the crazy food you want, Spacey." And he kissed her. Because... they're in love, of course... and they were having a freaking _baby_ together!

So beggars can't be choosers when it came to _food_ in this situation.


End file.
